breakingthemirror.com

July 5th, 2008

Kickin’ Ana’s Scrawny Butt ~ Day One

I was serious about declaring independence from Ana. 

Starting yesterday, July 4th, I began keeping track of the good things I was doing for my body, mind and spirit… as well as the not-so-good things.

Here’s the lowdown:

GOOD STUFF I DID ON 7/4/2008:

• Spent an hour indoor rock climbing.  Heaven.
• Ate what I wanted, when I wanted, but not to excess.  (Baked potato chips are a godsend.)
• Tried to keep a positive attitude throughout the day; didn’t allow myself to “sink” into mental quicksand which I sometimes do on holidays.

NOT-SO-GOOD STUFF I DID ON 7/4/2008:

• Found myself staring at my thighs and hips for at least five minutes, giggling the fat and trying to figure out how to get rid of cellulite.
• Kept grabbing my stomach periodically to check and see how flabby it felt.  (This will no doubt sound weird to normal people, but I’ll bet those with an Ana past will understand.)

How about you?  Were you able to free yourself from Ana (or Mia), at least for a little while? 

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July 4th, 2008

We’re in the home stretch… deadline for Crazy Cool Contest is tonight!

Well, it’s almost here!  The Crazy Cool Contest will end at midnight this evening… which means there’s still time to get your entries to me!

As a refresher, this is a contest where YOU can help write the lyrics to a unique Breaking the Mirror theme song that will be written and recorded by talented singer/songwriter Julie Moffitt. 

She’ll look through all the phrases and sentences that you’ve submitted and will decide how to create the perfect body image related song.  The person who submits the line that becomes the title of the song will receive a Julie Moffitt CD plus a donation toward their fave charity (see more about that HERE.)

If you’re stumped about what to write, let me show you here what we’ve received thus far in terms of entries.  Remember — you don’t have to be a songwriter (or a writer at all) to be a part of this fun contest!

Our current entries are:

• “When I looked in the mirror, I finally saw I’d turned my back on me”
• “I’m tired of fighting to be who I think I *should* be; I want to embrace me”
• “The monster inside my soul eats away, forging thoughts day-after-day, from the media and even those around me, turning me into something else - what *they* say I should be”
• “I am a woman. I do not have to look like a head on a stick.”
• “My reflection’s based on that which keeps life flowing inside of me, not the space I occupy”
• “My reflection shows my soul, I’ve achieved my spirit’s goal, worth my weight in solid gold.”

You can enter as many times as you like! 

I can’t wait to see what comes in at the 11th hour!  Sometimes, the last lines we create are those that speak the truth the loudest.

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July 3rd, 2008

Celebrate your independence… from Ana

Wouldn’t it be great if all those of us with body image and eating disorders could call Friday, July 4, 2008, OUR day of freedom and independence from the demons that haunt us?

Will you join me in making tomorrow the first day of a group effort to feel better about ourselves?  What shall we call our team?

(I’m serious about this.  Let’s do it!  There’s safety and support in numbers… and no time like the present.)

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July 2nd, 2008

Anorexia, bulimia and suicide

I’ve long known that eating disorders are associated with high mortality rates; however, it’s only in recent months that I’ve been able to understand exactly why.

You see, I always assumed that it was because anorexics starved themselves to death and bulimics purged their bodies to the point where a heart attack or stroke was inevitable. 

But that’s not necessarily the case.

Instead, it seems many women and men with eating disorders die from suicide.  Many suffer from undiagnosed conditions, like depression and bipolar disorder… and without proper medications and/or therapy, they take their own lives.

This article from Psychiatry Online delves into the connection between suicide and EDs a bit deeper.

Eating disorders cannot live in a vacuum.  If you’re suffering from one, chances are that you’re suffering from other psychological ailments, too.  I know that I’m given to bouts of OCD and depression; I’m sure they’ve had a lot to do with my 20+ years of body image problems.

I urge you — if you have suicidal thoughts, please take advantage of any of the following hotlines.  Then, call a physician and start on the path to recovery.

There is life after Ana and Mia.  I promise. 

SUICIDE HOTLINES (U.S. only — feel free to let me know of your nation’s hotline and I’ll add it to the list):

• 1-800-SUICIDE
• 1-800-273-TALK
• 1-800-799-4TTY (hearing impaired hotline)

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July 2nd, 2008

Is “thin” still in?

You know, I talk a lot about people I see and know who are anorexic, bulimic, et cetera. 

But I’m starting to wonder if “thin” is still “in” the way it once was?

When I look through many women’s mags, I notice that the models are lean, but not scrawny.  Typically, they look pretty fit rather than pretty deathly.

Is this a new trend?  Has thinspiration started to slowly change to “fit-spiration”?

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July 1st, 2008

Animals with eating disorders? Who knew?

After today’s poem, I thought I’d do a little investigating on the web.  I wanted to see if pets ever were diagnosed with eating disorders.

Lo and behold, I found this article in which the author blames obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) for cats’ eating disorders.  Now, granted, the type of EDs this writer discusses are quite feline-oriented, but they do share traits common human EDs.

Check it out and tell me if you’ve ever known of a cat or dog (or horse or hamster or guinea pig or…) with an eating disorder.

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July 1st, 2008

Cats with Eating Disorders?

My dear friend SLG turned me on to the following poem.

Upon reading it, I knew I wanted to share it with the Breaking the Mirror community, so I contacted the author, Alice N. Persons. She replied immediately and gave me permission to reprint the piece in its entirety here.

I’ve added two pictures below - one of Persons and one of the cat about whom she writes. (Aren’t they both lovely?)

If you’d like to see more of Persons’ writing (or, better yet, purchase one of her books), please head to Moon Pie Press.

(Incidentally, this piece is from Persons’ poetry chapbook NEVER SAY NEVER. Garrison Keillor read the poem on his NPR program “The Writer’s Almanac.”)

To My Cat With An Eating Disorder

You were thrown out of a moving vehicle
on a dirt road
in chilly winter downeast Maine,
little fur scrap, and I hope you don’t
carry that memory with you,
but the hunger, the deep fear
that you’ll never see food again
is still there five years later
when you are huge and sleek,
a sumo Buddha of a cat.

I’ve seen you, after a big meal,
heave yourself from a sound sleep,
pad into the kitchen, launch your bulk
onto the counter, and check the food supply,
then crouch there chewing and chewing,
green eyes empty, concentrating
on your burden, your compulsion,
doggedly eating, whether you want to or not.

There are stories about Holocaust or
Depression survivors whose refrigerators
and pantries are always full, just in case,
how some of them still wake in the night
and check their abundant supplies,
run their hands over the packages,
or eat without hunger, just because they can.

Cat, I stand in the dark kitchen
stroking your broad back,
wishing I could banish the fears
of one small, common creature,
those bad dreams that awaken you,
that hollow place in your memory
which can never be filled.

Writer Alice N. Persons has published 42 poetry books, including three anthologies. Her works can be purchased at www.moonpiepress.com.

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June 30th, 2008

Celebrating an anorexic’s road to recovery is dang hard!

I have an acquaintance who is finally pulling herself out of Ana’s sphere of influence.  She’s looking healthier than I’ve ever known her to be, and I can see she’s gained a bit of weight.

However, knowing that almost anything said can be a trigger, I’m only cautiously congratulating her on her path to recovery.  Phrases I’d like to use but know better than to utter include:

• “You look great!”  (She might interpret that as “You look fat!”)
• “You look so much healthier.”  (She might interpret that the same way as the previous phrase.)
• “I’m so glad you’re eating.”  (No way would I say this.  Not gonna happen.)

So instead, I’ve simply smiled and said, “How is it going?  What’s new?”  Innocuous, but unlikely to cause her to take a step back.

What would you say?  (Remember — this isn’t a close friend, just someone I know.  She’s talked opening about her eating disorder, but I still don’t feel that I’m anywhere near the “inner circle” of friends.)

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June 28th, 2008

Enter this contest and you could win $$$ for one of your fave charities!

We STILL have only a few entries for the Crazy Cool Contest; our singer/songwriter, the talented Julie Moffitt deserves many more from which to choose a winner.

Consequently,

I’m extending the deadline ONE FINAL TIME 

to Friday, July 4, 2008, at 11:59 p.m. EST! 

Don’t forget that I’ve added

*an extra prize*

that will be based on the number of entries we receive.

IF we receive fewer than 10 entries, I’ll personally donate $5 to the charity of the winner’s choice (as long as it’s not for anything untoward or something I’m firmly against.)

If we receive 10-19 entries, I’ll up that amount to $10; 20-29 entries will be $15; 30-39 entries $20; and so on up to a maximum of $50 donated toward a charity of the winner’s choice.

Please don’t wait to potentially win a donation toward one of your fave charities!   

Win a CD AND donate just by writing a body-image related sentence or phrase! 

What could be easier?  Click here now!

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June 27th, 2008

Smells like teen… vomit?

Okay, gross topic.  I admit it.  But I’m curious… have you ever met someone with bulimia who actually smelled like vomit?

I’ve read many times in “information sheets” that this is a tell-tale sign (duh!), but it seems to me that whenever I read real bulimics’ blogs or writings, they do their best to cover up the odor. 

If I were bulimic, I’d be carrying around mints and hand sanitizer, I think.  But I really don’t know much about it… can someone give me the down and dirty facts?

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